Entertainment Funny Student Life

Lazy Ways to Get Good Grades

By Sophia Jaquez

Hey there, how’s it going? I’m only asking because I know if you clicked on this article then you’re probably super stressed about school and homework and tests and pretty much everything right now. So stressed that you decided to procrastinate by getting on the internet, and now you’re going to rely on a stranger’s advice on how to fix your problems.

Lucky for you, this stranger actually has tips and tricks that are proven to work to keep your grades up. Don’t believe my tips will work? Well, I’m not going to argue with you, but let’s just say that I have received more perfect report cards than the Simpsons has seasons.

You better believe it, sweetie!

1. Set a goal for YOUR dream grades.

The first step to doing anything is always figuring out exactly what you want to do. Do you want to end the semester with all A’s? Will you be excited for a mix of A’s and B’s? Or is your heart telling you that C’s get degrees? When it comes to school, anything that YOU want YOU can achieve. Another side to this is that you don’t necessarily have to get the perfect grades your parents want because at the end of the day they are (probably) still going to love you whether you’re acing Trig or not.

Because we’re all just a little dumb.

2. Become friends with your teachers.

For many students, being friends with a teacher sounds impossible because they probably teach a subject that you might dislike. Trust me, this is one of the easiest ways to not only help your grades, but also to make your general school experience better. I’m not saying that you need to become besties with your teacher, but at least don’t act like they’re your enemy. Believe it or not, teachers are people too, and they’re more likely to round your grade up or give you extra time on assignments if you do any of the following:

  • Smile at them when you see them outside of the classroom.
  • Laugh at their jokes in class (even when they aren’t funny).
  • Staying off of your phone in their class (maybe if you tried this earlier in the semester you wouldn’t have to be reading this for help, just sayin’).
  • Be engaged in any/all class discussion even if you have no idea what they’re talking about.
None of the things I listed require much effort or brains, which proves how easy and simple friendship is 🙂

3. Don’t tell your parents everything about school.

(This tip sounds worse than it really is, so just trust me and keep reading.)

You probably still live at home, so talking to your parents about school is inevitable. But, what you tell them is totally in your control. Obviously I’m not telling you to lie to them, especially if you actually need help with something school related. All I’m telling you is to steer the conversation in a way that helps you. For instance, if you know you just failed a test in English but also know that you have some missing assignments to turn in that will boost your grade, then when your mom asks “How was the test?”, just tell her that you think you did well enough to pass the class.

This tip is works because you aren’t technically the truth because you know you failed the test, but you’re also not technically lying because you’re still going to pass the class. By doing this you not only save yourself from getting yelled at, but it also keeps your parents from stressing about you. I think we can all agree that our parents deserve a little less stress in their lives.

Mom, if you’re reading this just know that I do it because I love you.

4. Grab all the bonus points available.

This should go without saying, but if a teacher offers bonus points you should always try and get them. Your teacher offering bonus points is equivalent to the bank handing out free money. I know a lot of the time we don’t really feel like solving an extra math problem or writing a poem for extra credit, but even if you do a bad job at the bonus point assignment, your teacher still might accept it and give you points. You’ll never get any bonus points if you never try for them.

Also don’t be afraid to get creative with your bonus point assignments. It won’t count against you if you get it wrong, so you can do pretty much anything you want. For instance, don’t know how to do the bonus question on your math test? Instead, just draw a picture and if the odds are in your favor, then you might still get points.

Proof from my math test that this tactic works!

5. GO TO SCHOOL!

The last tip I have for you is also the EASIEST way to achieve good grades in high school. Just show up to school. This is because of those beautiful things called participation points. I know everyone is aware of how awesome participation points are, and if you’ve ever missed school, then you also know how hard it is to make those points up, especially in extra curricular activities that don’t involve a lot of worksheets and papers.

There are two main reasons for students to be failing multiple classes and to help explain them I made this handy dandy flowchart:

20190227_104025.png

Now that you have successfully procrastinated your time by reading these tips, turn off whatever device you’re reading this on and get to work!

4 comments

  1. lol, this is awesome, it was kinda funny, but ill try some of this stuff but im pretty sure im friends with a few of my teacher… i thmn ink

    Like

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